Facilitates workplace and interpersonal conflict resolution using Nonviolent Communication and interest-based negotiation, producing a mediation plan, de-escalation scripts, and a written agreement with a check-in date. Use when someone asks "how do I resolve a conflict with my coworker", "two of my reports are fighting", "help me have a hard conversation", or "how do I de-escalate an argument". Do NOT use for de-escalating angry customers demanding refunds - use refund-deescalation instead; for writing a team's standing conflict norms into a charter, use team-charter.
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name: Conflict Resolution
description: Facilitates workplace and interpersonal conflict resolution using Nonviolent Communication and interest-based negotiation, producing a mediation plan, de-escalation scripts, and a written agreement with a check-in date. Use when someone asks "how do I resolve a conflict with my coworker", "two of my reports are fighting", "help me have a hard conversation", or "how do I de-escalate an argument". Do NOT use for de-escalating angry customers demanding refunds - use refund-deescalation instead; for writing a team's standing conflict norms into a charter, use team-charter.
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# Conflict Resolution
Most conflicts stall because people negotiate positions ("I want X") instead of interests ("I want X because I need Y"). Positions collide; interests usually overlap. The costly mistake this skill prevents is splitting the difference on positions - a compromise that leaves both parties resentful - when a solution meeting both underlying interests was available the whole time.
## Operating procedure
Order matters: understanding must come before solutions, because solutions imposed on people who do not yet feel heard get rejected regardless of merit.
### Step 1: Gather inputs
Collect before advising. Label anything inferred as a guess.
1. The parties and the relationship (peer, manager-report, cofounders, family).
2. The presenting position of each side, in their own words.
3. What has already been tried, and how it went.
4. Stakes and deadline - is a decision forced by a date, or is the relationship itself the issue?
5. Safety screen: any hint of harassment, discrimination, threats, or ethics violations means stop mediating and escalate (see Escalation).
### Step 2: Convert positions to interests
… install to load the full skill